凡事需留有余地 Leave Some Room For Others

在妥拉经文《基多新》（Kedoshim）中，有一条来自上帝的诫命：“在你们的地收割庄稼，不可割到田角，也不可拾取所遗落的。葡萄园里未发的嫩枝，不可摘；葡萄园掉下来的果子，也不可拾取；要留给穷人和归信的人……” 我对这一段经文非常熟悉，多年来，我完全领悟了它神圣的目的，即引导我们将部分财产捐献给慈善机构。我一直铭记在心，并时刻提醒自己，我拥有的那些看似属于我的财产，其实是上帝的恩赐，祂赐予我的一小部分，是祂希望我去帮助那些有需要的人。 然而，在上个安息日，当我再次阅读这条诫命时，我又从另一个角度思考。我发现其中蕴含着另一种伟大的智慧，它真的可以应用于我们生活的任何领域。我发现它也告诉我，做任何事都不应该走极端。 我们应该永远给别人留点余地，留点宽容，留点风度。 如果我们精明，很好！但不要过分精明，因为那样做就是邪恶的； 如果我们面前摆满了美味佳肴，很好！但不要吃得太饱，因为那样做不利于健康； 如果我们锻炼身体强身，很好！但不要让自己筋疲力尽，因为那样做对身体有害； 如果我们是对的，我们赢了，而我们的对手/挑战者错了，输了，那太好了！但不要炫耀，不要逼迫对手，而要给别人留点余地，因为那样对双方都有好处。 给别人留点余地，做任何事都要宽容大度，宽容大度。记住这一点非常重要。

In Torah portion, Kedoshim, there is this command from G-d: “When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not complete your reaping to the corner of your field, and the gleanings of your harvest you shall not take. You shall not pick the undeveloped twigs of your vineyard; and the fallen fruit of your vineyard you shall not gather; for the poor and the proselyte shall you leave them…”
I am very familiar with this paragraph, and over the years I have fully digested its holy purpose of guiding us to give portions of our possessions to charity. I have kept it in the back of my mind, and always remind myself that what appears to be my possessions is a gift from G-d, and a small part of what He has given me He intends for me to give to others in need.
However, this past shabbat, as I was reading this command again, I thought of another angle. I see there is another great wisdom in it, which really can apply to any area of our life. I see that it also tells me that it is never right to go to extremes in anything we do.
We should always leave some room, some leniency, some grace, to others.
If we are shrewd, good! Just don’t be overly shrewd, for then it is wicked;
If we have an abundance of delicious food set before us, wonderful! Just don’t eat too full, for then it is unhealthy;
If we exercise to strengthen our body, fantastic! Just don’t get yourself exhausted, for then it is harmful to your body;
If we are right and we win, and our rival/competitor is wrong and loses, well, sweet! Just don’t show off, don’t corner the opposition, leave a little room for the other guy, for then it will be good for both.
Leave some room for others, be gracious, lenient, in everything we do. It is so important to remember.

Group Consciousness & Connection 群体意识与联系

I went to a celebration party hosted by a new friend. I was happy I was invited, so I went even though my husband is traveling and couldn’t accompany me. The party had a big crowd of guests who are my friend’s relatives and friends. He and his family have been friendly to me since day one as I relocated from California to Florida not long ago. And there are a few common friends at the party as well who are friendly to me. 

Yet, I could not really enjoy the party. A strong sense of isolation was like a solid shield surrounding me, it was inescapable. I wasn’t feeling lonely, or sad, absolutely no feeling of self-pitying. No, none of that, just an awkward sense of not being properly connected, feeling “out of it”. I took my time and observed others. I realized there was something similar to what I was feeling in some people, too, to different degrees. Some were more comfortable than others. Some were completely at home. I couldn’t help musing about this phenomenon. 

I thought of what I had read in Kabbalah that while we live in the true Reality, we each form our own world through individual consciousness, a world of perception of Reality. Hence the sense of isolation. However, we have the ability to communicate. We can speak (oral conversations). We can write/read. We can create a show/movie/drama and we can watch what others have created. We can also share the same language, life experiences, customs and practices. All of these communications gather together and form something higher than our individual consciousness — they form a community consciousness.  

Oftentimes, a group of people would form their group consciousness. A larger community would form a larger community consciousness. What I want to emphasize here is that our mental/spiritual enjoyment mainly derives from a strong sense of being connected with a larger consciousness than our own individual consciousness (isolation). At my friend’s party, those who felt most at ease and sunken in the exciting party atmosphere were those who were closely connected with the group consciousness of the majority of that crowd. This group consciousness perhaps was formed from many shared life experiences, shared native language, shared customs and practices and other communications they had had before. Since I wasn’t able to tap into the dripping nourishment of their group consciousness, I couldn’t have much enjoyment, even though I was very willing and I was warmly welcomed to mingle among the crowd. My body was in, my mind was out. 

In order to be embraced, or to embrace, to be accepted, or to accept, we must intentionally build up, actively participate, contribute to, strive to understand and appreciate — the community consciousness of our society, so that we could all derive enjoyment from a bigger world than being locked in isolation in our individual world. 

Having just goodwill and being friendly is not enough. 

As a convert to Judaism, becoming deeply and well connected to the jewish community at large is certainly the biggest challenge there is, after the mikvah.

我去参加了一位新朋友举办的庆祝派对。虽然丈夫出差不能陪我，但我还是欣然前往，因为受邀参加。派对上宾客云集，都是朋友的亲朋好友。自从不久前我从加州搬到佛罗里达后，他和他的家人就一直对我非常友好。派对上也有一些我们共同的朋友，他们也都很友善。

然而，我却无法真正享受这场派对。一种强烈的孤独感像一层坚固的屏障一样将我包围，让我无法逃脱。我并不感到孤独，也不感到悲伤，更没有丝毫自怜。不，这些都没有，只是一种格格不入的尴尬感，一种“置身事外”的感觉。我放慢脚步，观察着其他人。我发现，有些人也有着和我类似的感受，只是程度不同。有些人比其他人更自在，有些人则完全融入其中。我不禁开始思考这种现象。

我想起了我在卡巴拉中读到的内容：虽然我们生活在真实的现实之中，但我们每个人都通过个体意识构建了自己的世界，一个对现实的感知世界。因此，我们才会感到孤独。然而，我们拥有沟通的能力。我们可以说话（口头交流）。我们可以写作/阅读。我们可以创作节目/电影/戏剧，也可以观看他人的创作。我们还可以分享相同的语言、生活经历、习俗和实践。所有这些沟通汇聚在一起，形成一种高于我们个体意识的东西——一种社群意识。

通常，一群人会形成他们的社群意识。更大的社群会形成更大的社群意识。我想强调的是，我们的精神愉悦主要来源于与一种超越我们个体意识（孤独）的更宏大的意识的强烈连接感。在我朋友的聚会上，那些感到最自在、最能融入热闹氛围的人，正是那些与在场大多数人的社群意识紧密相连的人。这种群体意识或许源于许多共同的生活经历、共同的母语、共同的习俗和惯例，以及他们以往的交流。由于我无法融入他们群体意识的滋养，即便我非常乐意，也受到了热情的欢迎，融入人群，却也难以从中获得多少乐趣。我的身体在里面，但我的心却游离在外。

为了融入群体，或者接纳他人；为了被接纳，或者接纳他人，我们必须有意识地构建、积极参与、贡献力量、努力理解和欣赏——我们社会的社群意识，这样我们才能从一个更广阔的世界中获得乐趣，而不是被困在各自孤立的个人世界中。

仅仅拥有善意和友善是不够的。

作为一名犹太教皈依者，除了洁净池（mikvah）之外，与整个犹太社群建立深厚而紧密的联系无疑是最大的挑战。

Walk with G-d 与神同行

Put all worries down. Leave all burdens behind. In pure delightfulness, in white peace, with welling joy, let us walk with G-d in everyday life, for that is the whole purpose of us being alive.

G-d is spirit, yet He has created a material world, and He has created a material body: for us – us, who have a portion of His own spirit.

We are to live as His representatives in this material world.

We are to let the holy spirit within each of us reveal, experience and live in this material world, through our material limitations.

When we are inspired by the majestic mountains covered with green forests, moving jade splashing into white foams on the sandy seashores; when we soak in the bright sunlight full of hope and healing; when we receive caressing by the milky moon after a day’s tiring work, we are experiencing godliness in our material world, for beauty is an attribute of G-d.

When we make friends, fall in love and get married, caring for our children, our elderly, warmly associate with neighbors, co-workers, communities, we are letting godliness live in our material world, for love is an attribute of G-d.

When we feel sorry for fellows experiencing difficulty, we lend a hand to help each other when in need, we give charity with generosity, we call and comfort fellows in distress, we are letting godliness shine in our material world, for compassion is an attribute of G-d.

When we uphold law and governance, care about justice, shun evil and chaotic deeds, and promote fairness and order, we are revealing godliness in our material world, for justice is an attribute of G-d.

Cleave to all goodness. Keep all sins at bay. Self-reflect daily and pursue purity and goodness wholeheartedly, steadfastly. Let us go through our stormy trials of life, and hold on to walking with G-d in this material world first, day in, day out, in easy times, in hard times, and then qualify to be spending an eternity with Him, as His dear family, after we leave here.

放下所有忧虑，抛却所有重担。让我们在纯粹的喜悦、纯净的平和、涌动的喜乐中，与神同行于日常生活，因为这正是我们活着的全部意义。

神是灵，祂却创造了物质世界，也创造了物质的身体：给我们——我们这些拥有祂灵性一部分的人。

我们要在这物质世界中作为祂的代表而活。

我们要让每个人内在的圣灵，透过我们物质的局限，在这物质世界中显现、体验并生活。

当我们被苍翠森林覆盖的雄伟山峦所震撼，被碧波荡漾的海浪拍打在沙滩上激起的白色浪花所感动；当我们沐浴在充满希望与治愈的明媚阳光中；当我们结束一天的辛劳工作后，感受皎洁月光的轻抚时，我们就在物质世界中体验着神圣，因为美是神的属性。

当我们结交朋友、坠入爱河、步入婚姻殿堂、关爱子女和长辈、与邻里、同事和社区友好相处时，我们就是在让神性活在我们的物质世界中，因为爱是上帝的属性。

当我们同情身处困境的同伴，在彼此需要时伸出援手，慷慨解囊行善，关心并安慰那些身处困境的同伴时，我们就是在让神性在我们的物质世界中闪耀光芒，因为怜悯是上帝的属性。

当我们维护法律和治理，关注正义，远离邪恶和混乱的行为，并倡导公平和秩序时，我们就是在展现神性在我们的物质世界中，因为正义是上帝的属性。

持守一切良善，远离一切罪恶，每日反省，全心全意、坚定不移地追求纯洁和良善。让我们经历人生中的种种风雨，首先在这个物质世界里，日复一日，无论顺境逆境，都要坚持与神同行，这样我们才能有资格在离开人世后，作为祂亲爱的家人，与祂共度永恒。